When Trust is Broken: Elder Abuse Within Families
Many married clients feel obligated to name their spouse as agent, followed by the eldest child. While preserving family harmony is understandable, goodwill alone does not ensure a trustworthy fiduciary relationship. The role of an agent requires more than affection — it demands accountability.
Without a financial power of attorney, a person who can no longer manage their finances is left at the mercy of the courts. A close relative or other “interested person” must petition the court to appoint a Guardian of the Property, also known as a conservator. But familial proximity alone should not qualify someone to hold that responsibility.
A recent case in Colorado illustrates this point. After the death of their mother, the Court appointed a man as conservator for his mentally ill sister. The Court granted control over funds left in their mother’s estate, including money transferred into a special needs trust for the sister’s benefit. He also named himself a trustee.
Instead of protecting his sister’s interests, the brother stole $1.5 million.
Eventually, the court removed him as a conservator and appointed a neutral third party. However, the special needs trust — still under the brother’s control — remained vulnerable. When the new conservator sought to take over management of the trust, the brother fought back by petitioning to terminate the conservatorship entirely.
The court rejected his petition, ruling that he was no longer an “interested person.” In doing so, the court made a powerful statement: family ties alone do not entitle someone to control a vulnerable person’s affairs. The brother had shown he lacked a genuine, well-intentioned interest in his sister’s welfare.
As we consider how to protect ourselves financially in our later years, one question rises above all others:
Whom do you truly trust?
When that question is left unanswered — or answered unwisely — it may be a family member who betrays that trust.
